Fire Aficionados T-Shirts

'I don't know, Sparky. I think you just met your match.'

The Biggest Forest Fire Starter

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

Finally! A cure for the common cold!

Monster Clown

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

'Even down here we never lose our sense of humor!'

"At first I was concerned about the Earth opening up. But I was going to build a fire pit, so it actually saved me a lot of time."

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

The man who discovered smoke

"The blaze has taken hold on the eight floor Chief. The C.E.O., V.P. and C.O.O. are trapped in the boardroom!!"

"Hells Angels, Zamboni Division"

'Took longer than I thought it would.'

'Look, fire is fire - Why try to develop theories about it?'

I tried insuring my house over the phone but they insisted on seeing it. It was on fire at the time...

"I'm thinking that I may move hell to the west coast of the United States. There's more fire there."

"What do you think? Would flaming marshmallows make good torches?"

Organic Soldering.

Studying Fire Behavior

'I hear Oog gave up inventing.'

"The heat of the flames on my feet makes me feel thankful my feet aren't on fire."

Barbeque Silhoutte Identifier,

'Well, if you don't like the way I cook it, you shouldn't have discovered fire, should you?!'

"Since he discovered fire, he's done nothing but binge-watch."

The Winter Chimney Cleaner

'And best of all, it kills germs that cause bad breath!'

“The children claimed to love nature, even as they warmed themselves by roasting the dismembered limbs of the tree’s mother.”

'I see Mr. Invention is at it again -- we'd better start holding regular fire drills.'

History Of Fire

'Wow! That must have been one hell of a good salesman!'

"Madam - with this new 'Automatic Fire Delivery System', rubbing two sticks together will be a thing of the past...!"

"Well, I think it's drawing far too well."