Fire Tamer Gifts

"I'm not having a nice day."

Athens wildfires

Burnt or Raw?

'Bar-B-Q lit yet?'

"You like yours well done, right?"

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

His New Grillfriend

"Lovely dovetail."

Not you. Your hair.

"He won't stop and ask for directions when he COOKS, either."

"Okay - who wants theirs well done?"

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

(No caption. Signs on file cabinets drawers read, "Files Saved to Hard Drive," "Files Saved to Disk," "Files Saved to Traveldrive," "Trash.")

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

Parenting Business Deals

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

New Swiss Army Knife

I love Science.

'Before we start, would everyone please put your cell phone in the middle of the table?'

'How do you like your steaks? Scorched, burnt or cremated?'

"I find that my strongest passwords are those created when the cat walks across the keyboard."

"Who like 'em well done?"

Getting the Christmas Tree Home.

"Most projects require three hands."

"When Stan's barbecuing nothings ever 'well done'."

Woman in need of an extractor fan.

"Shall I phone the fire brigade yet."

'Continue gently simmering for ten minutes...'

"I'm calling it Cajun Blackened Chicken!"

Yeah, ok. I'll hold onto the two termites until this is over.

"You goo-goo, you gaa-gaa. But when push comes to shove, you whaa-whaa."