Flame Tamer Gifts

I love Science.

'How do you like your steaks? Scorched, burnt or cremated?'

"When Stan's barbecuing nothings ever 'well done'."

'Continue gently simmering for ten minutes...'

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

"Use a bit too much lighter fluid, honey?"

"You've got your foot on my shallots, mate."

Care to BBQ with genius inventor?

"Shall I phone the fire brigade yet."

Clown uses skirting flower to prevent hot foot

"He won't stop and ask for directions when he COOKS, either."

"Okay - who wants theirs well done?"

"I'm calling it Cajun Blackened Chicken!"

"Who like 'em well done?"

His New Grillfriend

"Anybody know how make fire?"

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

Burnt or Raw?

"Lovely dovetail."

"You like yours well done, right?"

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

"Remember you told me to put my client list on my computer."

(No caption. Signs on file cabinets drawers read, "Files Saved to Hard Drive," "Files Saved to Disk," "Files Saved to Traveldrive," "Trash.")

Need an elevated state of mind too!

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

'Bar-B-Q lit yet?'

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

New Swiss Army Knife

'Before we start, would everyone please put your cell phone in the middle of the table?'

"I find that my strongest passwords are those created when the cat walks across the keyboard."

Dentist Training School.

'He left for the office in a bit of a temper!'

'They've been in there all day writing the job description.'

Getting the Christmas Tree Home.