Fire Safety Comedian Gifts

'How did you know we were having pancake flambe again?'

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

"Oh we're fine, my husbands just learning to cook during the quarantine."

Fire door.

'Guns Galore Inc' 'Prolong your Life'

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

Smokey Bear crying because of deliberately started forest fires

"Hurry up and make a wish. Your cake's in there."

'I did give your brother a job - he's keeping an eye out for forest fires.'

Life Imitates Arf....

Drunks brought into A&E: Alcohol and Emergent Sick.

"I said, you have to be active in your own rescue!"

'Let's get some sheep, and don't worry if the shepherd has fire: I'll take care of it...'

Athlete

When Pyromaniacs Buy A Home: 'This is a great starter home.'

"Okay scouts, that ends today's online soldering session!"

Nero's Fire Alarm

"Where did you get that?"

Dual Airbags

Hello, fire department and sundry municipal services. Help! Fire! It's the kitchen! Don't panic. Remain calm. Calm?! We've got a major grease fire. Hey, I can't be expected to do everything … What? Answer the phones, put out fires, clean the parks, garbage collection … What part of fire don't you understand?!

"OMG, Stuart! Are you trying to set the house on fire?!"

Spawn of Satan on board.

'How many times have I told you not to play with matches?'

"Why did I come in here?"

"I did a risk assessment of the dangers of not doing a risk assessment, and decided it wasn't worth it."

Gingerbread man in Emergency room.

'Excuse me,Sir, but me and the rest of the work force think this dress code probably violates OSHA rules.'

Ron, I used this while you were on vacation. Please refill. Love, mother.

'They might satisfy Health and Safety, but I still think the Hi-Vis jackets send a mixed message.'

'Hey you! You work here, don't you? You people could be in real trouble with the fire marshal for not having any smoke detectors! I assume they make regular inspections around here?'

'Yes, it is a 'wonderful discovery'. But whatever you do, don't touch it!'

'I warmed up your side.'

Pyromania Therapy Clinic has a 'singe in' sheet.

'I took a short cut.'

Falling Rock Zone