Fire Safety Satire Gifts

In case of fire...break glass, make a wish, and blow out the candles.

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

'Another one? Do you realize it will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

"Oh we're fine, my husbands just learning to cook during the quarantine."

Safety Barriers

Mountain Climber With Pillow Padding.

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

Fire door.

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

Fume Leaks on aeroplane - 'Perfume? Drinks? Air?'

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

"Hurry up and make a wish. Your cake's in there."

'Coins, when swallowed, cause cancer. Perhaps money should be banned.'

'The most important safety rule to follow when doing anything dangerous is to first find out who can sue you when you get hurt.'

'As a part of a cost-cutting experiment all of our safety measures will be replaced with these good luck charms.'

Health & Safety Official Tester.

Jet Turbine Testing Area

"Safe? Of course it's safe! I do fireworks every year!"

'Apparently, he leaned over to read a 'safety notice' and fell out of the window.'

'Let's get some sheep, and don't worry if the shepherd has fire: I'll take care of it...'

Security at the Smaller Airports

"What makes you think we have to contact OSHA?"

'Oh no, he's only the Health and Safety Officer.'

Stuffed animal head falls on man.

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

'I baked it especially for you.'

'I'm bored, what can I do?' 'Go and play with your Junior Bomb Disposal kit.'

Living life dangerously 2010.

Department of Health and Safety: Knock (but not too loudly or you may suffer knuckle bruising) And Enter (Beware of tripping over the fireproof carpet).

One of Santa's elves is crushed to death by a present in the workshop, ruining the 364 days of 'Elf and Safety'.

Job Safety - Lunch.

'They say these vans are unsafe when fully loaded, so we're only going to allow 50 of you in at a time.'

Acme Candles - In case of fire, break glass.

He was cleaning it and it just went off.