Fire Safety Humor Gifts

"Oh we're fine, my husbands just learning to cook during the quarantine."

Safety Barriers

Fire door.

'What do you mean; 'I should burn less fuel to save the environment'? I only discovered fire this morning.'

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

'Guns Galore Inc' 'Prolong your Life'

"Hurry up and make a wish. Your cake's in there."

If it's any consolation, you burned the bejeezus out of his finger.

"Safe? Of course it's safe! I do fireworks every year!"

"I said, you have to be active in your own rescue!"

'Let's get some sheep, and don't worry if the shepherd has fire: I'll take care of it...'

'No, no, I've gone through all the steps in the procedure and I don't see anything about totally immersing yourself in oil before starting the job!!

Hello, fire department and sundry municipal services. Help! Fire! It's the kitchen! Don't panic. Remain calm. Calm?! We've got a major grease fire. Hey, I can't be expected to do everything … What? Answer the phones, put out fires, clean the parks, garbage collection … What part of fire don't you understand?!

Caution Falling Rocks

Nero's Fire Alarm

Fire break.

"OMG, Stuart! Are you trying to set the house on fire?!"

Dual Airbags

"I did a risk assessment of the dangers of not doing a risk assessment, and decided it wasn't worth it."

Gingerbread man in Emergency room.

'They might satisfy Health and Safety, but I still think the Hi-Vis jackets send a mixed message.'

'Hey you! You work here, don't you? You people could be in real trouble with the fire marshal for not having any smoke detectors! I assume they make regular inspections around here?'

Wanted For Arson

"He said he was working on something big. Now e;ll never know what it was."

'I took a short cut.'

Falling Rock Zone

"Hey! Who put gas in this bucket?!"

Pyromania Therapy Clinic has a 'singe in' sheet.

'Excuse me while I rub the smoke out of my glass eye.'

'I told you to wear your hard hat.'

'Okay, at the T in the road, go straight.'

"The finale should be good"

'So, what's it like to lick a light socket, Mr. Safety?'

'I told you not to play with matches!'

'How did you know we were having pancake flambe again?'