Fire Humorist Gifts

Pyromania Therapy Clinic has a 'singe in' sheet.

"Oh we're fine, my husbands just learning to cook during the quarantine."

Fire door.

The firehouse has a cat instead of a dalmation.

Life Imitates Arf....

"Fetch and roll over weren't enough-then they sent me to philosophy classes."

'He's clever alright-just watch him dry up when it's HIS round!'

'Well the dog's been passively smoking our fags for the past ten years, so I think it's only fair that he has a nicotene patch too.'

Fire break.

Nero's Fire Alarm

Grumpy man telling a teddy bear whoes watching TV to get out of his chair

"Excuse me....water!!"

"I'm not sure I can really help you. I've dealt with hundreds of rodent infestations, but I've never even heard of Beerkats!"

"When Kevin walked into a room, he lit it up."

'At least it's a dry heat'

'Yes, it is a 'wonderful discovery'. But whatever you do, don't touch it!'

Wanted For Arson

Smoking and non-smoking sides of a Volcano.

'No wonder it's so warm! Someone's been messing with the thermostat again!'

'Pssst...wanna buy some tabs?' (Launderette)

'That perfume you're wearing smells funny. I love it!'

'Excuse me while I rub the smoke out of my glass eye.'

"Say, do you have the correct moon-phase?"

'How did you know we were having pancake flambe again?'

"But it's 3 o'clock in the morning. Okay, one word ... rhymes with liar."

Pick Your Own Cannabis.

A TV with a tap has a person drowning on the screen.

'It's the world's tallest oil slick.'

So What Field You In?

'This is my second in command, boys, and she's coming on the camping trip.'

Smoke Screen