Fire Humorist Pillows

Pyromania Therapy Clinic has a 'singe in' sheet.

A marshmallow? Oh, no, thank you, I'm good.

"Oh we're fine, my husbands just learning to cook during the quarantine."

Fire door.

Life Imitates Arf....

If it's any consolation, you burned the bejeezus out of his finger.

The firehouse has a cat instead of a dalmation.

"Fetch and roll over weren't enough-then they sent me to philosophy classes."

'He's clever alright-just watch him dry up when it's HIS round!'

'Well the dog's been passively smoking our fags for the past ten years, so I think it's only fair that he has a nicotene patch too.'

"I'm not sure I can really help you. I've dealt with hundreds of rodent infestations, but I've never even heard of Beerkats!"

"Excuse me....water!!"

Grumpy man telling a teddy bear whoes watching TV to get out of his chair

Nero's Fire Alarm

Fire break.

"When Kevin walked into a room, he lit it up."

'At least it's a dry heat'

'Yes, it is a 'wonderful discovery'. But whatever you do, don't touch it!'

Smoking and non-smoking sides of a Volcano.

"Well, at least it's a dry heat."

"Hey! Who put gas in this bucket?!"

'No wonder it's so warm! Someone's been messing with the thermostat again!'

'Excuse me while I rub the smoke out of my glass eye.'

Wanted For Arson

'Pssst...wanna buy some tabs?' (Launderette)

'That perfume you're wearing smells funny. I love it!'

"Say, do you have the correct moon-phase?"

'How did you know we were having pancake flambe again?'

I think we have mice.

"But it's 3 o'clock in the morning. Okay, one word ... rhymes with liar."

Pick Your Own Cannabis.

'It's the world's tallest oil slick.'

A TV with a tap has a person drowning on the screen.

So What Field You In?

'This is my second in command, boys, and she's coming on the camping trip.'