Fine Dining Subverter Gifts

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"Can't we ride off in another direction?"

"What's happened to Quiche?"

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"What did Jesus order?"

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"How about a little more coffee?"

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"I could have sworn I had three sausages!"

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

'Right you lot, listen. Hands up for soup. . .'

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

"....and some apple pie for dessert...oh miss, remember that a la mode!"

Nouveau wine

The Bland Leading the Bland

"Hiya, sweetie! Don’t mind us..!" "We’re here to protect you from boys in girls restrooms..!" "What’s in the basket..?"

'Sorry about that - Lenny accidentally used jumping beans.'

'At these prices can't you afford a kitchen?' Burner at the table

"Wine makes him sleepy."

"I'd skip dessert. You'll be quicker on your feet."

"It tastes and smells just like a glass of wine!"

"Pecan pie with rum-raisin ice cream is the best revenge."

"I'm told the omelettes here have a broader purpose."

"Harvey's staying with shoulders."

'May I recommend the red wine?'

"I beg your pardon, but a mustache is required in the dining room. Would you like us to provide you with one?"

"Ah, Monsieur has made a very expensive choice!"

'Waiter, there's going to be a fly in my soup!'

Cat's wine has live fish in it.