Cliché Subverter Gifts

"Can't we ride off in another direction?"

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

Countervailing Clichés.

"Repeat after me: We are delivering the proactive core value promises and rolling out our real time best practice action plan going forward ..."

The Devil's in the detail!

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

'Here's the good news. 'Happy camper' and 'are we having fun yet' have been added to the official list of banned cliches.'

"Which should we go see: the straight romantic comedy where the heroine's best friend is a gay man, or the gay romantic comedy where the hero's best friend is a straight woman?"

Mystery Writing 101 - Mailbox: The butler did it, the gardener, the chauffeur.

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

"Hello darling, what do you do for a living?"

'It's negative attention ... as long as you keep asking why, they'll keep on doing it.'

Good stripper cop / Bad stripper cop

Steve found himself on his travels.

Leopards do change their spots

'This doesn't work as a heart-felt plea for world peace, but with some astute editing, it might be great on a greeting card.'

'Lookout, here comes another boatload of cartoonists.'

The Bland Leading the Bland

"Hiya, sweetie! Don’t mind us..!" "We’re here to protect you from boys in girls restrooms..!" "What’s in the basket..?"

"Thanks for your introductory speech at the conference. By the way, Hibblemeyer, it's 'hard-headed' businessman, not 'thick-headed'."

'Too many cliches? Now hold your horses!'

"There are far too many balls in your court, Brintner!"

'Reserved' (presumably for little miss muffet)

"There is such a thing as a free lunch-it just tastes bad."

A panhandler with a sign that reads "I'll never work in this town again!".

"Harvey's staying with shoulders."

Jeffrey N.: The Guy who managed to get the lead out of his pants, but they were still the wrong pants.

"Herewith, we recommend the following: when you're up to your rear in alligators, it's worth remembering your original purpose was to drain the swamp...."

"Take us to your feeder."

"Always a bridesmaid..."

Clancy: Hard Work Never Killed Anybody