Cliché Subverter Gifts

"Can't we ride off in another direction?"

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

Countervailing Clichés.

"Repeat after me: We are delivering the proactive core value promises and rolling out our real time best practice action plan going forward ..."

The Devil's in the detail!

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

'Here's the good news. 'Happy camper' and 'are we having fun yet' have been added to the official list of banned cliches.'

'It's negative attention ... as long as you keep asking why, they'll keep on doing it.'

Mystery Writing 101 - Mailbox: The butler did it, the gardener, the chauffeur.

"Which should we go see: the straight romantic comedy where the heroine's best friend is a gay man, or the gay romantic comedy where the hero's best friend is a straight woman?"

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

Steve found himself on his travels.

"Hello darling, what do you do for a living?"

Good stripper cop / Bad stripper cop

"If all you have is a whatchamacallit then every problem looks like a thingamajig."

'This doesn't work as a heart-felt plea for world peace, but with some astute editing, it might be great on a greeting card.'

"Hiya, sweetie! Don’t mind us..!" "We’re here to protect you from boys in girls restrooms..!" "What’s in the basket..?"

'Lookout, here comes another boatload of cartoonists.'

"Thanks for your introductory speech at the conference. By the way, Hibblemeyer, it's 'hard-headed' businessman, not 'thick-headed'."

Leopards do change their spots

The Bland Leading the Bland

'I'd like to push the envelope, go the extra mile, and think outside the box to facilitate a win-win solution to the over-utilization of buzzwords.'

'Too many cliches? Now hold your horses!'

'Reserved' (presumably for little miss muffet)

"There are far too many balls in your court, Brintner!"

"There is such a thing as a free lunch-it just tastes bad."

A panhandler with a sign that reads "I'll never work in this town again!".

"Always a bridesmaid..."

"Harvey's staying with shoulders."

Jeffrey N.: The Guy who managed to get the lead out of his pants, but they were still the wrong pants.

"Herewith, we recommend the following: when you're up to your rear in alligators, it's worth remembering your original purpose was to drain the swamp...."

'Hmmm, the 27th you say... Yes, I'm away that day, so I guess it's OK for you to play...'

Clancy: Hard Work Never Killed Anybody