Cliché Breaker Gifts

"It's my ex. He wants to pay me a conjugal visit."

Barman and drinker glare at man at bar ? sign says : 'Thank you for NOT saying 'At the end of the day'..''

Steve found himself on his travels.

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

"Repeat after me: We are delivering the proactive core value promises and rolling out our real time best practice action plan going forward ..."

"Can't we ride off in another direction?"

Countervailing Clichés.

The Devil's in the detail!

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

'Here's the good news. 'Happy camper' and 'are we having fun yet' have been added to the official list of banned cliches.'

"Which should we go see: the straight romantic comedy where the heroine's best friend is a gay man, or the gay romantic comedy where the hero's best friend is a straight woman?"

Mystery Writing 101 - Mailbox: The butler did it, the gardener, the chauffeur.

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

'It's negative attention ... as long as you keep asking why, they'll keep on doing it.'

Good stripper cop / Bad stripper cop

"Hello darling, what do you do for a living?"

"If all you have is a whatchamacallit then every problem looks like a thingamajig."

"Thanks for your introductory speech at the conference. By the way, Hibblemeyer, it's 'hard-headed' businessman, not 'thick-headed'."

Leopards do change their spots

'Lookout, here comes another boatload of cartoonists.'

'This doesn't work as a heart-felt plea for world peace, but with some astute editing, it might be great on a greeting card.'

'I'd like to push the envelope, go the extra mile, and think outside the box to facilitate a win-win solution to the over-utilization of buzzwords.'

'Too many cliches? Now hold your horses!'

"There are far too many balls in your court, Brintner!"

'Reserved' (presumably for little miss muffet)

"There is such a thing as a free lunch-it just tastes bad."

Jeffrey N.: The Guy who managed to get the lead out of his pants, but they were still the wrong pants.

Creative Writing. I've learned a lot in this class. I used to use cliches like they were going out of style, but now I wouldn't touch one with a ten-foot pole.

'Hmmm, the 27th you say... Yes, I'm away that day, so I guess it's OK for you to play...'

A panhandler with a sign that reads "I'll never work in this town again!".

"Take us to your feeder."

"Always a bridesmaid..."

"Herewith, we recommend the following: when you're up to your rear in alligators, it's worth remembering your original purpose was to drain the swamp...."