Cliché Cracker Gifts

'I need an officer to respond to a report of a stolen donut truck.'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

"Repeat after me: We are delivering the proactive core value promises and rolling out our real time best practice action plan going forward ..."

Countervailing Clichés.

The Devil's in the detail!

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

'Here's the good news. 'Happy camper' and 'are we having fun yet' have been added to the official list of banned cliches.'

How The Ice Age Began: 'OK, can we freeze it right there...'

"Hello darling, what do you do for a living?"

'It's negative attention ... as long as you keep asking why, they'll keep on doing it.'

Good stripper cop / Bad stripper cop

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

Steve found himself on his travels.

Mystery Writing 101 - Mailbox: The butler did it, the gardener, the chauffeur.

"If all you have is a whatchamacallit then every problem looks like a thingamajig."

'This doesn't work as a heart-felt plea for world peace, but with some astute editing, it might be great on a greeting card.'

Leopards do change their spots

'Lookout, here comes another boatload of cartoonists.'

"Thanks for your introductory speech at the conference. By the way, Hibblemeyer, it's 'hard-headed' businessman, not 'thick-headed'."

'I'd like to push the envelope, go the extra mile, and think outside the box to facilitate a win-win solution to the over-utilization of buzzwords.'

'Too many cliches? Now hold your horses!'

"The real question is do you really need a cracker?"

'Reserved' (presumably for little miss muffet)

"There is such a thing as a free lunch-it just tastes bad."

"There are far too many balls in your court, Brintner!"

"Take us to your feeder."

Pushing the envelope.

'Hmmm, the 27th you say... Yes, I'm away that day, so I guess it's OK for you to play...'

"Herewith, we recommend the following: when you're up to your rear in alligators, it's worth remembering your original purpose was to drain the swamp...."

"Always a bridesmaid..."

Jeffrey N.: The Guy who managed to get the lead out of his pants, but they were still the wrong pants.

Clancy: Hard Work Never Killed Anybody

A panhandler with a sign that reads "I'll never work in this town again!".