Fine Dining Fans Gifts

Tomato sauce served in a posh restaurant

The entrées were $30 each. The extra $15 is for all that damn fresh pepper you made me grind!

'A cheeky red?'

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

"I can't give you a prescription for milk and cookies."

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

Pasta

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"What did Jesus order?"

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"What's happened to Quiche?"

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

'I really don't know why we bother coming here - the food's always crap.'

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

"How about a little more coffee?"

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

Some days, we all just feel like a little take-out lo mein.

"I could have sworn I had three sausages!"

"....and some apple pie for dessert...oh miss, remember that a la mode!"

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

'Right you lot, listen. Hands up for soup. . .'

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

Nouveau wine

'Sorry about that - Lenny accidentally used jumping beans.'

"Wine makes him sleepy."

'At these prices can't you afford a kitchen?' Burner at the table

"I'd skip dessert. You'll be quicker on your feet."

"It tastes and smells just like a glass of wine!"

"There's our cure for the munchies! Gluten, we love your pizza!!" "You're our hero, gluten."

"I beg your pardon, but a mustache is required in the dining room. Would you like us to provide you with one?"

"Ah, Monsieur has made a very expensive choice!"

'Pardon me, M'sieur -- Did you order 'grilled cheese' or 'chilled grease'?'

You didn't text me that you met a guy! I couldn�t. There was no cell phone coverage. How awful. Diner. I'll say. What good is love � If you can't brag about it? Wow. Is that Shakespeare?