Fine Dining Fan Gifts

"It tastes and smells just like a glass of wine!"

'I would appreciate it, Prescott, if you would stop referring to the oyster platter as the sea-booger special!'

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"I could have sworn I had three sausages!"

'Wine's supposed to be flat, sir.'

'I'll have the pure water.'

Nouveau wine

Cat's wine has live fish in it.

"What would the world be like without wine? I can't bear to think of it."

"We are not very happy about being seated next to the lavatories!"

Please wait here to be ignored...

'On the paupiettes de boeuf a la hongroise, which part is the hongroise?'

"This wine is from a very fresh yield."

"What wine goes well with 'broke'?"

When dung beetles eat out.

"We take pride in offering food that's simple, basic, yet absurdly expensive."

'Right you lot, listen. Hands up for soup. . .'

"I'm sorry. The beef Wellington has to be ordered twenty-four hours in advance."

'At these prices can't you afford a kitchen?' Burner at the table

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

'this sommelier is an insufferable snob! - I'm looking for a wine that screams 'discreet discernment'.'

Would you like to lick out the bowl?

'I always take my wife to the finest restaurants... one day I might let her inside one!'

"If I mispronounce the order, do you promise not to correct me in a patronizing manner?"

'Can you suggest a vintage that would go well with a thong?'

'May I recommend the red wine?'

Two Gentlemen Dining and the Butler.

"What's happened to Quiche?"

"Tap water is fine for me, Tony, but let’s bring my new vice president a bottle of your best stagnant pond water."

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"Ah, Monsieur has made a very expensive choice!"

"Non-smoking, pro-choice, beginning to question our military presence in the Persian Gulf, and not too near the kitchen, please."

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"