Formal Dining Fan Gifts

"His lordship is unable to answer the phone as he doesn't like to speak with his mouth full..."

'Now cut the mustard please Loveday.'

"I beg your pardon, but a mustache is required in the dining room. Would you like us to provide you with one?"

A woman flicks food at her husband across a long table

"Wine makes him sleepy."

"I'd skip dessert. You'll be quicker on your feet."

'A cheeky red?'

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

Cat Tie

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

'Burl says it only works with corn though if you want to try it.'

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

Diamond outfits

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"Congratulations—It's a well dressed boy."

All dressed up and no place to go

"What did Jesus order?"

"What's happened to Quiche?"

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

Prosecco Peacock

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

'I really don't know why we bother coming here - the food's always crap.'

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

Some days, we all just feel like a little take-out lo mein.

"How about a little more coffee?"

"I could have sworn I had three sausages!"

'I don't have the heart. You tell him the barbeque season is over.'

'Right you lot, listen. Hands up for soup. . .'

"....and some apple pie for dessert...oh miss, remember that a la mode!"

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

Nouveau wine