Formal Dining Fan Gifts

"His lordship is unable to answer the phone as he doesn't like to speak with his mouth full..."

'Now cut the mustard please Loveday.'

"I beg your pardon, but a mustache is required in the dining room. Would you like us to provide you with one?"

A woman flicks food at her husband across a long table

"Wine makes him sleepy."

"I'd skip dessert. You'll be quicker on your feet."

'A cheeky red?'

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

Cat Tie

'Burl says it only works with corn though if you want to try it.'

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

Diamond outfits

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"Congratulations—It's a well dressed boy."

"What's happened to Quiche?"

Prosecco Peacock

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"What did Jesus order?"

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"How about a little more coffee?"

"I could have sworn I had three sausages!"

'I don't have the heart. You tell him the barbeque season is over.'

"....and some apple pie for dessert...oh miss, remember that a la mode!"

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

'Right you lot, listen. Hands up for soup. . .'

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

Nouveau wine

'At these prices can't you afford a kitchen?' Burner at the table

'Sorry about that - Lenny accidentally used jumping beans.'

"It tastes and smells just like a glass of wine!"

'And once again it's ended in a tie.'