Formal Dining Fan T-Shirts

"His lordship is unable to answer the phone as he doesn't like to speak with his mouth full..."

'Now cut the mustard please Loveday.'

"I beg your pardon, but a mustache is required in the dining room. Would you like us to provide you with one?"

A woman flicks food at her husband across a long table

"Wine makes him sleepy."

"I'd skip dessert. You'll be quicker on your feet."

'A cheeky red?'

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

Cat Tie

'Burl says it only works with corn though if you want to try it.'

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

Diamond outfits

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"Congratulations—It's a well dressed boy."

"What's happened to Quiche?"

Prosecco Peacock

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"What did Jesus order?"

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"How about a little more coffee?"

"I could have sworn I had three sausages!"

'I don't have the heart. You tell him the barbeque season is over.'

"....and some apple pie for dessert...oh miss, remember that a la mode!"

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

'Right you lot, listen. Hands up for soup. . .'

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

Nouveau wine

'At these prices can't you afford a kitchen?' Burner at the table

'Sorry about that - Lenny accidentally used jumping beans.'

"It tastes and smells just like a glass of wine!"

'And once again it's ended in a tie.'