Family Dinner Fans Gifts

"Why do I always get stuck at the Kids' Round Table?"

"Relax, everybody. It's no one we knew."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

Newton had actually discovered gravity at a family dinner in his early childhood.

Mother feeds messy child with extra long spoon.

'Aw, mom! How come I always have to eat at the kiddie carcass?'

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'

'We'll start with a menu and a glass of water.'

"You've all been like a company to me."

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

"How about a little more coffee?"

The First 3-D Thanksgiving

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

"....and some apple pie for dessert...oh miss, remember that a la mode!"

"Michael, do your dinner."

"Mom, Eugene picked all the peanuts off the pizza!"

Ways to Misuse Ventriloquism

"You heard your mother. There's no need to bless the superfoods."

'Sorry about that - Lenny accidentally used jumping beans.'

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

'It's your husband. The baby won't burp for him.'

Adult Table - Kids Table - Kids' Friends Table

'When I'm rich, I'm going to hire a food taster to check for vegetables.'

"More aphorisms, please!"

"Other than being sent to the principal's office, my detention, and three day suspension, school was good."

"I'm told the omelettes here have a broader purpose."

'Ignore him, he's just angry because you're eating out of his bowl.'

"Pecan pie with rum-raisin ice cream is the best revenge."

I've learned that it doesn't do any good to slip broccoli to the dog under the table.

'The waitress gave us a weird look. On the way back, I'd better drive and you can stick your head out the window.'

"We think it sort of brightens up the breakfast."

The entrées were $30 each. The extra $15 is for all that damn fresh pepper you made me grind!