Family Dinner Enthusiasts Gifts

"I'm old enough to recognize a lecture disguised as grace."

Stupid telemarketers

"I heard at school that Baldo kissed a girl. Can you pass the macaroni and cheese?"

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

Newton had actually discovered gravity at a family dinner in his early childhood.

Mother feeds messy child with extra long spoon.

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

"I hope we can sell everything before it's time for mom to make dinner."

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

'Aw, mom! How come I always have to eat at the kiddie carcass?'

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'

'I hope you all like stuffing.'

'Hurry up you guys! I'm about to serve dinner!'

"You've all been like a company to me."

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

'As soon as your mother is through laundering the money we'll go out to eat.'

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

The First 3-D Thanksgiving

"Fridge-to-table"

"I thought we agreed that the dining room was a buffer zone."

"Ok, Griffin — let him see Mom’s roast!"

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

'Could I trade all of this for more of that?'