Family Dining Lover Gifts

My corn is undercooked. It hasn't even popped!

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

Mother feeds messy child with extra long spoon.

Newton had actually discovered gravity at a family dinner in his early childhood.

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!

'Aw, mom! How come I always have to eat at the kiddie carcass?'

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'

"I think we'll pass up the Château Mouton-Rothschild '34."

"Would the gentleman care for a razor and comb to start?"

"You've all been like a company to me."

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

"I'll have the Mediterranean truffle sea bass, pan seared, and thrown into my mouth from across the room."

The First 3-D Thanksgiving

"Ok, Griffin — let him see Mom’s roast!"

'Can I get a box for this?'

'How do you guys want your trans fatty acids prepared?'

"We're out of flowers."

"Linguini for two?"

'How do you prepare your chicken?' 'We just tell 'em they're gonna die.'

Non-wall St merger: Mom's Home Cooking...Pop's Cafe!

-A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

"If you liked tonight's meal, you might enjoy 'Making The Meal,' a documentary with outtakes and commentary when the cook ran out of eggs because someone put an empty carton back in the refrigerator..."

"You heard your mother. There's no need to bless the superfoods."

'Maybe that'll teach you not to argue with the waiter over the bill!'

Ways to Misuse Ventriloquism

Three Pigs.

"Mom, Eugene picked all the peanuts off the pizza!"