Family Dinner Enthusiast Gifts

'I know the younger generation are living at home longer these days, but you're not exactly the younger generation anymore son!'

'What do you mean, you're not hungry? - Your mother spent two minutes cooking that in the microwave just for you!'

'And deliver us from evil, this spinach casserole for starters.'

'Give us this day our apple pie.'

Adult Table - Kids Table - Kids' Friends Table

'When I'm rich, I'm going to hire a food taster to check for vegetables.'

The Stat family

"No, 'tofu' isn't short for 'toe fungus'!"

"More aphorisms, please!"

Mother feeds messy child with extra long spoon.

"This fat free meal is also taste free!"

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

When Tia Carmen says... "You want a little more?" she really means... "You're getting some more whether you want it or not!"

"Dude, it's cool how your family eats together every night."

"I still feel naked without my hairnet."

The First 3-D Thanksgiving

"You heard your mother. There's no need to bless the superfoods."

'Broccoli is biodegradable if you want to throw mine away.'

"You've all been like a company to me."

Ways to Misuse Ventriloquism

"Today in school we studied the great works of antiquity - the pyramids, the coliseum, the abandoned shopping mall on Route 6."

"Go ahead... ignore me! Just you wait 'till the Parental Rights law passes... The when I tell you to sit up straight, I'll have the full force of the U.S. Government behind me!"

Thank You for Not Smoking

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

"Other than being sent to the principal's office, my detention, and three day suspension, school was good."

'This tastes just like my mother used to make it... She was a lousy cook, too.'

'Artichokes are the only vegetables where you end up with more than you started with.'

"Have you noticed little Fred's never late for dinner these days?"

Teddy! Time for dinner!! I'm doing an essay on values. I need examples of oppressive values that hold people down. Sit! This hour is non-negotiable. Got it! Family values!

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'