Family Dining Enthusiasts Gifts

I've learned that it doesn't do any good to slip broccoli to the dog under the table.

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

"Sarah has two mommies and both of them are good cooks."

Mother feeds messy child with extra long spoon.

Newton had actually discovered gravity at a family dinner in his early childhood.

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!

'Aw, mom! How come I always have to eat at the kiddie carcass?'

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'

"You've all been like a company to me."

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

"Ok, Griffin — let him see Mom’s roast!"

The First 3-D Thanksgiving

Non-wall St merger: Mom's Home Cooking...Pop's Cafe!

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

"Mom, Eugene picked all the peanuts off the pizza!"

"Michael, do your dinner."

"If you liked tonight's meal, you might enjoy 'Making The Meal,' a documentary with outtakes and commentary when the cook ran out of eggs because someone put an empty carton back in the refrigerator..."

Ways to Misuse Ventriloquism

"...and most of all, thank you for pre-cooked holiday meals from the supermarket!"

"You heard your mother. There's no need to bless the superfoods."

Adult Table - Kids Table - Kids' Friends Table

'When I'm rich, I'm going to hire a food taster to check for vegetables.'

"Funny how we never seem to run out of vegetables."

"More aphorisms, please!"

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

"Other than being sent to the principal's office, my detention, and three day suspension, school was good."

Screen Time at the Dining Table

My corn is undercooked. It hasn't even popped!

'Are you still eating your breakfast? I want to lay the table for lunch.'

"Don't yell in the restaurant. Use your texting voice."

'I don't really hate vegetables, but if I eat them, what's next...GIBLETS?'