Family Dining Gifts

"I'm warning you - peas and carrots are gateway vegetables."

"I don't know, sweetheart. Perhaps Daddy can tell us if chickens have souls."

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

"Jakey's not a huge fan of spicier dishes, but we do want him to know what's out there."

"Pardon me, but I couldn’t help noticing how well-behaved your children are. May I ask which medications they’re on?"

Danny's Family Values Restaurant

"When my mother asks if you want anything to eat just say no."

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

'Excellent grape jelly, Mother -- I detect Macabeo, Arinto, Rotgipfler, and just a hint of Hondarrabi Zuri.'

'It's the cat, says he'll be late, can we leave something out?'

"This Thanksgiving, we're going to serve whatever we can get from the food bank."

"If you liked tonight's meal, you might enjoy 'Making The Meal,' a documentary with outtakes and commentary when the cook ran out of eggs because someone put an empty carton back in the refrigerator..."

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

Domestic Goddess.

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

Chez Nous Menu

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

Mother feeds messy child with extra long spoon.

Newton had actually discovered gravity at a family dinner in his early childhood.

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"I hope we can sell everything before it's time for mom to make dinner."

Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime