Family Dinner Gifts

"Mr. Wickers called me 'gifted' in front of the whole class. I'm ruined."

'I'm not hungry. I ate with Rover.'

'As soon as your mother is through laundering the money we'll go out to eat.'

'Give us this day our apple pie.'

'And deliver us from evil, this spinach casserole for starters.'

'When I'm rich, I'm going to hire a food taster to check for vegetables.'

'I say it's spinach and the heck with it!'

"I hope we can sell everything before it's time for mom to make dinner."

'I hope you all like stuffing.'

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

'...and even though the rest of us hate brussel sprouts, we thank you Lord for the food you've provided for us.'

"Oh no! Didn't you bring your phone?"

'Bless this food we are about to receive, all except the broccoli, Bless the apple pie twice.'

"I'll just text the children upstairs that dinner is ready."

"Cody's decision about staying for dinner hinges on whether you're making your famous lasagna or your lightly regarded crabcakes."

"These family dinners have become a lot friendlier since we started wearing nametags."

'I want to give them incentives to try my cooking, but I have to draw the line at medals for bravery.'

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

"Mom, Dad, sis-I'm not like you. I'm-I'm not a palindrome."

"I just found something else I won't eat."

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

Grandchildren's Menu: Whatever's on your plate and no funny business

"A funny thing happened at work today."

'I don't want to eat this. I want to eat organic foods.'

Continue eating. Pay no attention to me. I'm from the food and drug administration.

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

"They're called leftovers, not 'reruns'."

'Could I trade all of this for more of that?'

'Hurry up you guys! I'm about to serve dinner!'

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

Fridge-To-Table

"Fridge-to-table"

The Iron Chef at home