Family Dinner Gifts

"Mr. Wickers called me 'gifted' in front of the whole class. I'm ruined."

'I'm not hungry. I ate with Rover.'

'As soon as your mother is through laundering the money we'll go out to eat.'

'When I'm rich, I'm going to hire a food taster to check for vegetables.'

'I say it's spinach and the heck with it!'

'I hope you all like stuffing.'

"I hope we can sell everything before it's time for mom to make dinner."

'Give us this day our apple pie.'

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

'And deliver us from evil, this spinach casserole for starters.'

"Mom, Dad, sis-I'm not like you. I'm-I'm not a palindrome."

"A funny thing happened at work today."

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

'I want to give them incentives to try my cooking, but I have to draw the line at medals for bravery.'

'Could I trade all of this for more of that?'

"I just found something else I won't eat."

"They're called leftovers, not 'reruns'."

Continue eating. Pay no attention to me. I'm from the food and drug administration.

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

'...and even though the rest of us hate brussel sprouts, we thank you Lord for the food you've provided for us.'

'Hurry up you guys! I'm about to serve dinner!'

"These family dinners have become a lot friendlier since we started wearing nametags."

'Bless this food we are about to receive, all except the broccoli, Bless the apple pie twice.'

'I don't want to eat this. I want to eat organic foods.'

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

Grandchildren's Menu: Whatever's on your plate and no funny business

"Oh no! Didn't you bring your phone?"

"Cody's decision about staying for dinner hinges on whether you're making your famous lasagna or your lightly regarded crabcakes."

"I'll just text the children upstairs that dinner is ready."

"And if you don't finish your vegetables, Daddy will take you to a Knicks game."

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

Tasty Time: Family-Style Restaurant