Family Dinner Friends Gifts

"If you want to be more like Mom and Dad, kids, you've got to start pounding down those Shirley Temples."

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

Newton had actually discovered gravity at a family dinner in his early childhood.

Mother feeds messy child with extra long spoon.

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

"I hope we can sell everything before it's time for mom to make dinner."

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!

'Okay mum, I'll eat it all up. But I doubt I'll grow big and strong on this muck!'

Young Gums

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

'Aw, mom! How come I always have to eat at the kiddie carcass?'

'It makes baptisms a lot more fun for everyone.'

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'

'I hope you all like stuffing.'

'Hurry up you guys! I'm about to serve dinner!'

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

"You've all been like a company to me."

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

'As soon as your mother is through laundering the money we'll go out to eat.'

It was a good idea to let the kids bring their friends...

"And that's where hot dogs come from."