Family Meal Gifts

Young boy shows refined taste in champagne

'When do we eat? My stomach can hold out for about eight more minutes before panic sets in.'

"Can we have the last bill, please?"

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'Ahhh...'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

Chez Nous Menu

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

"Hi-yah!"

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

'Never mind about buying that trampoline. I love your new bed!'

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."