Family Mealtime Gifts

"If so many things taste like chicken, why did God make chickens?"

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

I like the Jets...I guess

"They grow up so fast."

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

"You do like octopus?"

"She's been so creative lately."

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

Haircuts

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

Chez Nous Menu

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

"Mom! Your cell phone’s ringing ... it’s Dad!"

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."

'You and Rags working together make great dinosaur finders.'

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"Is she breastfeeding in public?! That's disgusting!"

'She's just great with the children.'

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

Photographer Phone: 'Okay everybody, SMILE!'

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

'Your fancy new grill works great. . .and we didn't even have to turn it on.'

Do you have any cookies you aren't using?

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

"If you hold it to your ear you can hear the ice caps melting."