Family Mealtime Fan Gifts

"We'll have three deluxe wormburgers and a big bucket of regurgi-taters."

My First Camera

At the market

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

Some days, we all just feel like a little take-out lo mein.

"'Course I've seen one before...but never one that ate peanuts!"

'I'm very confused. I never had a father. I was raised by two mummies.'

'One chatterbox, a natter natter and two shhhhh's please.'

"Ok, Griffin — let him see Mom’s roast!"

'Can you read this one for me? I have a book report on it tomorrow.'

Non-wall St merger: Mom's Home Cooking...Pop's Cafe!

'Has he been out with your mother by any chance?'

"These are wonderful, precious years before he learns that he's benefitting from institutional racism."

'Hey, wait a minute!'

"Funny how we never seem to run out of vegetables."

Going to the pub with kids...

Freak Family.

'We can't win. Mum keeps telling us to play quietly, and when we do, she thinks we're up to something!'

"We moved here for the schools."

Screen Time at the Dining Table

My dad's teaching me how to mow the lawn, fish and use the grill, I'm teaching how to Google, text and use an ipod.

"Why do you always have to be so judgemental?"

"Can I have a pony?"

Family wearing shin guards to protect against the kid in a play car.

'Wednesday wave.'

'I don't really hate vegetables, but if I eat them, what's next...GIBLETS?'

"mmmmm. Now that's takeaway the way my mother used to order."

"If Heather has two mommies, and each of them has two brothers, and one of those brothers has another man for a 'roommate,' how many uncles does Heather have?"

'Let's play house. You be the stay-at-home dad, and I'll be the career mom.'

'Apparently I need to lower the dosage of salmon capsules that I'm giving Don and the kids.'

"I'm such a trend-setter! I wear a bib, and now mom does too!"

"Why do I always get stuck at the Kids' Round Table?"

No longer a child, Maureen is excited to experience her first holiday dinner at the big table.

Biting Zoo

"Relax, everybody. It's no one we knew."