Family Dinner Fan Gifts

"Can I have a pony?"

'I'm going to make this quick because the pie ala mode ice cream is melting.'

Grandma, you have something in your teeth.

No longer a child, Maureen is excited to experience her first holiday dinner at the big table.

'Carlton! How many times have we told you not to scarf your food!?'

"I'm such a trend-setter! I wear a bib, and now mom does too!"

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

Newton had actually discovered gravity at a family dinner in his early childhood.

Mother feeds messy child with extra long spoon.

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"What did Jesus order?"

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"What's happened to Quiche?"

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'

'We'll start with a menu and a glass of water.'

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"How about a little more coffee?"

"You've all been like a company to me."

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

"I could have sworn I had three sausages!"

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

'Right you lot, listen. Hands up for soup. . .'

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

The First 3-D Thanksgiving

"....and some apple pie for dessert...oh miss, remember that a la mode!"

Nouveau wine

Ways to Misuse Ventriloquism

'At these prices can't you afford a kitchen?' Burner at the table

"Michael, do your dinner."

"You heard your mother. There's no need to bless the superfoods."