Tv Dinner Fan Gifts

'Could you make an exception? he doesn't know how to eat without a tray table and a remote.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

Love is in the air...

"What did Jesus order?"

'We'll start with a menu and a glass of water.'

'I really don't know why we bother coming here - the food's always crap.'

"How about a little more coffee?"

Some days, we all just feel like a little take-out lo mein.

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

"....and some apple pie for dessert...oh miss, remember that a la mode!"

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

'Sorry about that - Lenny accidentally used jumping beans.'

"I think we should each try other beers."

"I'm told the omelettes here have a broader purpose."

'Ignore him, he's just angry because you're eating out of his bowl.'

"Pecan pie with rum-raisin ice cream is the best revenge."

Napkin Cole

'And stir to a smooth consistency.'

"Popular astrologer and psychic Malder Tercado's contract with a national Spanish-language TV network was not renewed. Tercado was reportedly surprised by the news...saying he didn't see it coming."

"Chef's special: tossed salad, no dressing. It's dress-down day."

"Can I have a pony?"

'I'd like to buy a towel.'

Nigella Lawson

I'll say one thing for that chef on TV...he really makes deboning a chicken look easy.

Sure he's a zombie, but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"We think it sort of brightens up the breakfast."

"Is the hamburger innovative?"

"Bring me a bottle of chardonnay and one long straw."

"Hey, Merle, table 8 wants ham and eggs. . . Errr. . . chocolate!"

"I'm such a trend-setter! I wear a bib, and now mom does too!"

'Carlton! How many times have we told you not to scarf your food!?'