Family Meals Gifts

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

'And we also thank the FDA for this genetically engineered food.'

'Well - how has everyone wasted time and energy today?'

"Remember, it's not enough to say what's great about mac'n'cheese. We've got to to negative on tuna noodle casserole."

'No phone calls, please, until you've used up all of your dinnertime minutes.'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

'Fish or chicken?' - Pilot has the choice of 2 types of airline food at home.

Have you said grace? No, we said grace yesterday, this is leftovers!

'What do you mean, you're not hungry? - Your mother spent two minutes cooking that in the microwave just for you!'

"Mum, why can't we just have a normal Sunday roast like other families?"

'And deliver us from evil, this spinach casserole for starters.'

'Give us this day our apple pie.'

'No, I haven't heard that the FDA has taken broccoli off the market.'

'Seeing as Dad's cooking tonight, I think it's a good idea to keep the stomach pump handy.'

The Stat family

Mum's home cooked meals - vending machine.

"I don't think Rex is terribly keen on your steak pudding, either dear!"

'A hacker broke into our computer and, in an act of human kindness, deleted your mother's recipe for peppers and meat loaf.'

Alarming symptoms after eating boiled beef and gooseberry pie

"Mom told me to make my vegetables disapear."

"I thought maybe for once we could have a nice meal together instead of a feeding frenzy!"

"Not the Cape May lump blue-claw crab cake with crème fraîche, fried quail egg, osetra caviar, duck confit, and peach con frutti again?!!"

"If it's so good for you....couldn't it smell good too?"

'Does your son have to eat all that horrible broccoli?'

'Yuck! My creamed corn is polluting my mashed potatoes!'

'Keep carving, there are still a few identifiable parts.'

'Don't let me down - I've bet Mrs Jones 50p you'll eat it.'

"Mother will never be able to rest on her laurels. If they're green, she'll cook them."

'Clean Your Plate.'

'Finish your ice cream, young man, or no salad.'

"More aphorisms, please!"

'Oh, I know that broccoli is good for me -- it's just that I don't feel I deserve it.'

"Shush, darling. Daddy's delivering his opening monologue."

Sex, lies, leftover tuna casserole, and a videotape

'We don't need a designated driver if we're drinking root beer.'