Family Dinner Fans Pillows

"Why do I always get stuck at the Kids' Round Table?"

"Relax, everybody. It's no one we knew."

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

Newton had actually discovered gravity at a family dinner in his early childhood.

Mother feeds messy child with extra long spoon.

'Aw, mom! How come I always have to eat at the kiddie carcass?'

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'

'We'll start with a menu and a glass of water.'

"You've all been like a company to me."

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

Some days, we all just feel like a little take-out lo mein.

"How about a little more coffee?"

The First 3-D Thanksgiving

"....and some apple pie for dessert...oh miss, remember that a la mode!"

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

Ways to Misuse Ventriloquism

"You heard your mother. There's no need to bless the superfoods."

"Mom, Eugene picked all the peanuts off the pizza!"

"Michael, do your dinner."

'Sorry about that - Lenny accidentally used jumping beans.'

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

'It's your husband. The baby won't burp for him.'

Adult Table - Kids Table - Kids' Friends Table

'When I'm rich, I'm going to hire a food taster to check for vegetables.'

"I remember a simpler time when the Sunday dinner tables were divided up for the adults and kids."

"More aphorisms, please!"

"I'm told the omelettes here have a broader purpose."

I've learned that it doesn't do any good to slip broccoli to the dog under the table.

"Other than being sent to the principal's office, my detention, and three day suspension, school was good."

'Ignore him, he's just angry because you're eating out of his bowl.'

You didn't text me that you met a guy! I couldn�t. There was no cell phone coverage. How awful. Diner. I'll say. What good is love � If you can't brag about it? Wow. Is that Shakespeare?

"Pecan pie with rum-raisin ice cream is the best revenge."

"We think it sort of brightens up the breakfast."