Fine Dining Subverter T-Shirts

"As you requested, 'A bottle of something cheap by which to get thoroughly hammered'."

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"Can't we ride off in another direction?"

"What's happened to Quiche?"

"What did Jesus order?"

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

'I really don't know why we bother coming here - the food's always crap.'

"How about a little more coffee?"

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"I could have sworn I had three sausages!"

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

"....and some apple pie for dessert...oh miss, remember that a la mode!"

'Right you lot, listen. Hands up for soup. . .'

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

Nouveau wine

"I'd skip dessert. You'll be quicker on your feet."

"Wine makes him sleepy."

'At these prices can't you afford a kitchen?' Burner at the table

"Hiya, sweetie! Don’t mind us..!" "We’re here to protect you from boys in girls restrooms..!" "What’s in the basket..?"

The Bland Leading the Bland

'Sorry about that - Lenny accidentally used jumping beans.'

"It tastes and smells just like a glass of wine!"

You didn't text me that you met a guy! I couldn�t. There was no cell phone coverage. How awful. Diner. I'll say. What good is love � If you can't brag about it? Wow. Is that Shakespeare?

"Pecan pie with rum-raisin ice cream is the best revenge."

"I'm told the omelettes here have a broader purpose."

'May I recommend the red wine?'

"Harvey's staying with shoulders."

"Ah, Monsieur has made a very expensive choice!"

'Waiter, there's going to be a fly in my soup!'

"I beg your pardon, but a mustache is required in the dining room. Would you like us to provide you with one?"