Financial Witticism Lover Pillows

'I need to arrange for some bridge financing.'

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

Jumping Wall Street.

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

'A temporary solution would be to white out this part of the chart.'

'Eureka! I found the gene that causes people to sell low and buy high!'

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

In case of falling markets break glass.

'I blame Iceland - it's PAYBACK!'

Man feeding fish banks with money, not food.

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

"Cook the books al dente so the auditor will have a little something to crunch."

Federal Guidelines

"It's part of a deal I worked out with the I.R.S."

"Let us pray for the possessed...and the re-possessed"

"Can money buy happiness? Certainly not the amount I'm paying you."

'I feel I owe a lot to my country.' - 'So, you haven't paid your income tax again.'

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

'Your investments in sub prime mortgages have become collectors items now! Aren't you excited?'

'Greece is up for auction on eBay - and there's no bidders.'

"The scammers managed to clear out your entire pension fund."

'Oh my God!! The economy's in ruins! There's no money!'

"At least we no longer have the pressure of handling so much money."

'Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing.'

Cufflinks + Handcuffs = Embezzlement

"He was expecting a golden handshake."

Bank of England Suspends Gold Payments Following Run on the Banks

"Where do you get your inspiration?"

'It's a bill collector!'

'What can we do to reduce our spending?'

Home 'Submerged' Home! (Home value less than mortgage).

Caution: Falling Businessmen - A Sign of the Times

Pressing Problem

'I'm balancing the books...you are out'