Financial Satire Lover Pillows

'How can it be insider trading if a little bird told me?'

'You have been tried and convicted of insider trading. Have you any last tips to offer before I pronounce sentence?'

'I sort of envy that guy -- interest rates don't bother him a bit.'

The bonus is performance based. You lost lots, which resulted in big bailout. Way to go.

"This report to the shareholders….Which is the misinformation and which is the disinformation."

Cufflinks + Handcuffs = Embezzlement

Bank of England Suspends Gold Payments Following Run on the Banks

'One off the side-effects is shortness of cash.'

'What's this bank charge of £35?'

"Hello. I'm your buy-to-let landlord - could you give me a bed for the night?"

'Well, you don't have to worry about putting food on the table, our table has been repossessed?'

'He wanted to buy the ladder, but he didn't have enough money and I said no problem, pay tomorrow!'

'After you told me you were a man of convictions, I checked. Sure enough, you've been convicted of 2 felonies and 4 misdemeanors.'

'He prefers smoking cash to injecting it.'

"Can money buy happiness? Certainly not the amount I'm paying you."

"The scammers managed to clear out your entire pension fund."

"Actually, my Q3 is going to surpass projections."

"Well, if it wasn't on Wall Street, where did you make your killing."

"Well, this is the perfect life insurance. When you're dead call me and I'll give you the money!"

'We've decided to tell individuals we treat them like institutions, and tell institutions we treat them like individuals.'

'Could you make an appointment after my lunch break.'

Mario Draghula: 'I'll do whatever it takes to save the Euro!'

Mother Hubbard 2011

Pyramid scheme

"Forget it son ... these guys might look fat and juicy but they have a rotten taste ... they're Bankers!"

"Can I bum a twenty?"

Assets of �250 million and I can't even find a paperclip.

"Where is the Office Ledger?"

A competent legal adviser can always be helpful.

'And they lived happily ever after - well beyond their means.'

ATM that charges a whopping fee and cops a feel.

Wall Street Bear Market 'Better order in more porridge'

'Oh my God!! The economy's in ruins! There's no money!'

The Bank of New York

'I blame Iceland - it's PAYBACK!'