Witty Finance Enthusiast Pillows

'If people are supposed to live within their means, why are there such things as overdrafts?'

British savings accounts

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

I love it when you speak Wall Streetese. Say 'to the upside' for me.

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

"Allow me to introduce Recession. Recession is here to stay."

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

Fiscal Compass for the Global Investor.

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

'Believe me dad. I'm on the school math team. If your investments declined 50 then increased 50 you did not break even.'

'...and this time Gerald, don't refer to the RBS as the Ripoff Bonus Scheme!'

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

"I was downgraded to junk status at work today."

'Stand back! All he needs is an injection of long-term capital.'

"Did you hear that that bastard McMinney has buggered of to work for Bank of America!"

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

Tempest in a Teapot

"We balanced our budget this month!"

'Does it bother you that we have all the money?'

Money Plant.

'...And do you John take Jennifer to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, to write off on your taxes?'

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'