Financial Skepticism Gifts

Beaten by Banksters

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

Stock market investment advice

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

Standard & Poor

'Okay, let the minutes show we're not absconding with the money until the economy improves...'

'So, a bailout is like a Ponzi scheme for automakers?'

'If America's economy is so bad how can we afford a billion dollars on presidential campaigns?'

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

'I've been in Washington for 30 years, and that's the biggest rathole I'VE ever seen!'

'If congress regulates obscene bonuses, isn't that a violation of the first amendment?'

How Trickle Down Economics Work

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

'There's no correlation to stock prices. It's just a 'feel good' graph.'

Euro fall...

This horse isn't dead. It's just sleeping.

"You want to withdraw your money? There's a fee for that."

Deposits insured by the U.S. Government (which has a $4.2 trillion debt).

'Great speech on the future of the economy. You said nothing with great conviction.'

The private sector is a parasite on the economy.

'Stocks dropped today, proving once again that life sucks.'

We lost money in every division, but through the magic of accounting, our Take A Penny Leave A Penny trays earned $46 million.

'In an effort to make our economic reporting and projections more accurate, our resident weatherman will be delivering the economic news.'

"This investment will make a pile of money. Of course, a good question is 'for whom?'"

Bank. 18 month CD 1.0815255645% Paying More digits than any other bank. Interest rates are so low! It's hard to believe this CD has reached maturity --- Just look at how little it's grown! Investing seems extremely risky these days. There's no safe place to get a decent return. They always say investing is a roller coaster. Yeah, but it's not true. On a roller coaster you get back to where you started!

'It will bring economic benefits to the North and Midlands.'

Assets $2,400,000,000 Liabilities $4,6000,000,000 Government Bailout $2,200,000,000

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

Be thankful we didn't invest social security funds in the stock market.

Guide to Working Class Investing

"Do you mind? I'm reading the prospectus carefully before investing."

How Supply-Side Economics Works.