Financial Ethics Skeptic Gifts

'Your reckless nature will lead to good fortune and misery for millions.'

'So, gentlemen, how's the dollar trading against the immortal soul, today?'

'Okay, let the minutes show we're not absconding with the money until the economy improves...'

'I've been in Washington for 30 years, and that's the biggest rathole I'VE ever seen!'

It's the same ingredients and aftertaste as stimulus 1..."

IOC and human rights.

The private sector is a parasite on the economy.

Nasty, Shady, and Gruesome equal Massive potential profits

Investments: Yes, we have organic, local & cruelty-free stocks.

'Great speech on the future of the economy. You said nothing with great conviction.'

We lost money in every division, but through the magic of accounting, our Take A Penny Leave A Penny trays earned $46 million.

'Excellent idea, Primrose...but will the public buy it?'

'To avoid any conflict, I've put my ethics in a blind trust.'

"Don't include any tobacco stocks in your portfolio- they'll only stunt its growth."

"I can't keep giving you stock tips. The SEC has been making 'insider trading' inquiries."

"Have you ever wanted something so bad that you'd actually save up the money to buy it?"

'Getting a big bonus to risk other people's money makes me wonder if I am part of a conspiracy.'

'They're the angel of social conscience funds and his evil twin, greedy devil.'

Deposits Insured By The U.S. Government (which has a $29 Trillion Debt).

"Your 401(k) is a low-risk investment, other than a few stocks that happen to finance the end of human civilization as we know it."

see no evil...hear no evil...SEC can't even spell evil

"I just want enough to get out of the country, and disappear forever."

"How do we know this isn't a ponzi scheme?"

'Maybe so, sir, but our motto is, 'A penny saved is a lot of trouble for nothing.''

"It seems to me it's a little unethical to recommend only ethical companies."

'It's not a spitoon. It's for scruples.'

Holistic Stocks, Inc.

'Shall we accept not-so-special interet money?'

'The top graph shows the patient's progress. The bottom one's the drug company's share price.'

'Our social conscience fund invests in companies that don't do animal testing.'

'I can still remember the days when you had a social conscience'.

"I take it you've never had a bank account before?"

"How can a fund that's loosing us money call itself socially responsible?"