Financial Improvisers Gifts

'I bit the cheque so it won't go through!'

"This is why I don't want you doing our taxes anymore."

Jazz is Invented

'I made a Valentine's Day card for you. The school has no art supplies so I wrote the color in.'

Businessman on a Slippery Downward Slide.

"I've fixed the shelf, darling."

The Augie Twins write music strictly for their own amusement.

'I'm a loaf of bread.'

Harpist using her bed frame as a harp.

"We've isolated your disease, Mrs. Grosenik. We can proceed as soon as we isolate your checkbook."

'Sometimes if things blow onto the canvas I just leave em there.'

Piano desk.

'It spoils the decor, but it sure saves money on TV sets.'

'This way, we'll never lose track of the remote.'

"I was thinking income when you mentioned double dipping."

Inflate a job!

"Mr. Jones, I'm taking you out of stocks and into kickstarter."

"You're a fool, Carl - a fool and an idiot."

"We could hire another accountant and secretary, but wouldn't it be fun to have a barista?"

'The problem isn't your high definition television, it's your low definition eyes.'

Zoom Backdrop

'I couldn't find real fruit for your still life painting, so we'll just use these fruit roll-ups.'

"If you're worried about your retirement account, Ms. Mulvany, just read the crawl."

"Once upon a time there was a kind old bank that did not charge its customers a fee."

'I know we've got to save money, dear, but can't you use the phone like other people?'

"We're out of towels."

What am I doing? Oh just a little TBC. You know, Taking Care of Bailout.

"I know the organ is broken, but I was kind of hoping you knew how to play the guitar."

"Your father spent the Christmas tree money on a w***e from Cincinnati. We'll have to use the air freshener this year."

I've always been fascinated in the manufacture of sproket head gears.

'Your account is overdue so the doctor is sending you to a specialist...our collection agency.'

'Don't mind me. They're having problems finding me desk space on level 4.'

"I really like to push the envelope. I've even been known to do quintuple-entry bookkeeping!"

"Happy New Quarter."

'Yeah. I had to use the leaf blower.'