Tv Improvisers Gifts

Having learned to read lips, Howard was able to avoid the expense of an HDTV and cable.

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

Jazz is Invented

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

The Hammer

'I'm re-enacting a battle with my conscience.'

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

'I made a Valentine's Day card for you. The school has no art supplies so I wrote the color in.'

"I'm fascinated by your résumé, particularly the advertising supplement."

The Augie Twins write music strictly for their own amusement.

Your performance since you came here suggests you may have lied on your resume.

'We have an emergency, ladies and gentlemen! We need help - can anybody in the audience play the tambourine.'

"When you tell your Father how you're dropping out of college to be a renaissance faire entertainer, the least you could do is break character."

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

"You're not giving me the job because I'm 'over qualified'? Oh, don't worry, most of those qualifications have been falsified."

"My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references."

'We've run out of one-man plays - why not make it up with the rest of the drama group?'

'I'm a loaf of bread.'

"Thanks for coming in again. Sorry about the last time. I must have pulled the wrong lever by mistake."

Castaway with a tennis court.

"It's just until the air conditioning in our house is fixed."

"Try some improv, they said. The king will it, they said!"

Washing Line - "I thought you wanted a clothes dryer."

'We added on to the couch.'

"That's not a mistake, that's jazz."

I work all day landscaping. I'm too tired to do all the yard work at home. Teddy, you're big enough to use my power tools. I know exactly who to call for help. Tap tap tap. Not the power tool I was referring to.

Harpist using her bed frame as a harp.

"The line in the script was actually 'Woof woof,' but, when we started shooting, 'Bow wow' came out, and the rest is history."

Hell on trio island

Thesaurus Editors Applicants,Candidates,Entrants,Inquirers,Job-seekers.

'Sometimes if things blow onto the canvas I just leave em there.'

'It spoils the decor, but it sure saves money on TV sets.'

"You're a fool, Carl - a fool and an idiot."

'This way, we'll never lose track of the remote.'