Home Improvisers Gifts

"We're out of towels."

'It spoils the decor, but it sure saves money on TV sets.'

Harpist using her bed frame as a harp.

Bad Timbre: the world's first Garage Philharmonic Orchestra

Jazz is Invented

At times Richard dreaded coming home, as he knew he'd have to face the music.

The Hammer

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

'I made a Valentine's Day card for you. The school has no art supplies so I wrote the color in.'

'What a day! - the computer broke down, and I had to cook manually!'

"We'll have to eat out tonight - I misplaced the can opener."

The Augie Twins write music strictly for their own amusement.

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

'I didn't have time to cut the lawn, so I used your credit card to have it carpeted. Do you like the cool color I picked out?'

'I'm a loaf of bread.'

Okay, let me guess...we're eating baked ham and meat loaf on a bed of fish sticks because you combined all the leftovers...

'We've run out of one-man plays - why not make it up with the rest of the drama group?'

"It's just until the air conditioning in our house is fixed."

'We added on to the couch.'

Hell on trio island

"I hope you like smoked salmon."

Washing Line - "I thought you wanted a clothes dryer."

"She'll only eat it if I cut it up in cloverleaf shapes, serve it on a blue plate, and do a little dance as I serve it."

'Sometimes if things blow onto the canvas I just leave em there.'

"He's starting to make coffee in the mailbox, isn't he?"

'So one day I said to myself, 'What am I doing living in this run down house when I could be living on my boat?'

"I said no to a man cave but I compromised on a dugout."

'The problem isn't your high definition television, it's your low definition eyes.'

Zoom Backdrop

'I couldn't find real fruit for your still life painting, so we'll just use these fruit roll-ups.'

Helicopter as a clothes drier

"I don't believe you're a minimalist I think you're just mean."

'The potato masher you bought me broke so I improvised.'

"I'll draw them out with the cheese platter, but it's up to you to entertain them."