Home Office Improviser Gifts

Zoom Backdrop

Bad Timbre: the world's first Garage Philharmonic Orchestra

"I'm working from home today."

Jazz is Invented

The Hammer

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

'I made a Valentine's Day card for you. The school has no art supplies so I wrote the color in.'

"Yes, I'm working from home, and my kids are here helping me."

'What a day! - the computer broke down, and I had to cook manually!'

"How long have you been working from home, Mr. Farley?"

"If you won't let me work from home, then I'll just home from work."

Self-Employment

The Augie Twins write music strictly for their own amusement.

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

"We'll have to eat out tonight - I misplaced the can opener."

'Hold all my calls - and get dressed. I hate being reminded I work from home.'

'This part of your office's new flexible-work-from-home-schedule?'

Bring Your Child To Work Day While You Work From Home

'Nothing like the workplace to inspire creativity.'

Okay, let me guess...we're eating baked ham and meat loaf on a bed of fish sticks because you combined all the leftovers...

"It's just until the air conditioning in our house is fixed."

'I'm from the temp agency, who are you?'

"I'm working remotely from home...I have a gallbladder, 2 appendectomies, a colon resection and playgroup at 3."

"I hope you like smoked salmon."

Working from home.

Harpist using her bed frame as a harp.

Washing Line - "I thought you wanted a clothes dryer."

'We added on to the couch.'

"And I'm telling YOU it looks exactly like the picture. See?"

I work all day landscaping. I'm too tired to do all the yard work at home. Teddy, you're big enough to use my power tools. I know exactly who to call for help. Tap tap tap. Not the power tool I was referring to.

"The line in the script was actually 'Woof woof,' but, when we started shooting, 'Bow wow' came out, and the rest is history."

The disadvantages of homeworking.

"I don't mind him working from home, except for casual Fridays."

"She'll only eat it if I cut it up in cloverleaf shapes, serve it on a blue plate, and do a little dance as I serve it."