Workplace Improviser Gifts

"We could hire another accountant and secretary, but wouldn't it be fun to have a barista?"

'Don't mind me. They're having problems finding me desk space on level 4.'

Bad Timbre: the world's first Garage Philharmonic Orchestra

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

Jazz is Invented

On-the-job creativity may go unrewarded an may even create consternation among co-workers.

"I like this Carl, you've come up with more solutions than we have problems."

Man at work sees in lounge refrigerator, 'Creative Juices'

'I think and work spectacularly well either inside or outside the box.'

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

'What a day! - the computer broke down, and I had to cook manually!'

'I made a Valentine's Day card for you. The school has no art supplies so I wrote the color in.'

"I'm fascinated by your résumé, particularly the advertising supplement."

The Augie Twins write music strictly for their own amusement.

'We have an emergency, ladies and gentlemen! We need help - can anybody in the audience play the tambourine.'

"We'll have to eat out tonight - I misplaced the can opener."

Your performance since you came here suggests you may have lied on your resume.

"Does it not gladden the heart to see Lowry adapt so well to our new low overhead policy?"

Okay, let me guess...we're eating baked ham and meat loaf on a bed of fish sticks because you combined all the leftovers...

"My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references."

"You're not giving me the job because I'm 'over qualified'? Oh, don't worry, most of those qualifications have been falsified."

"The whole thing is basically fiction. But I just thought my resume could use some spice."

'We've run out of one-man plays - why not make it up with the rest of the drama group?'

"Thanks for coming in again. Sorry about the last time. I must have pulled the wrong lever by mistake."

'I'm from the temp agency, who are you?'

Thesaurus Editors Applicants,Candidates,Entrants,Inquirers,Job-seekers.

"And I'm telling YOU it looks exactly like the picture. See?"

"The line in the script was actually 'Woof woof,' but, when we started shooting, 'Bow wow' came out, and the rest is history."

"I hope you like smoked salmon."

"She'll only eat it if I cut it up in cloverleaf shapes, serve it on a blue plate, and do a little dance as I serve it."

'Sometimes if things blow onto the canvas I just leave em there.'

'So, what part of the house are we delivering shock and awe to this weekend?'

'Our incentive plan seems to be working!'

'I'm not sure that mentioning your diploma in 'Monkey Business' really helps your resume...'

Piano desk.