Tech Improviser Gifts

'The problem isn't your high definition television, it's your low definition eyes.'

Bad Timbre: the world's first Garage Philharmonic Orchestra

Jazz is Invented

The Hammer

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

'I made a Valentine's Day card for you. The school has no art supplies so I wrote the color in.'

'What a day! - the computer broke down, and I had to cook manually!'

"We'll have to eat out tonight - I misplaced the can opener."

One-man band - One-man office

The Augie Twins write music strictly for their own amusement.

'We have an emergency, ladies and gentlemen! We need help - can anybody in the audience play the tambourine.'

"I've fixed the shelf, darling."

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

'We've run out of one-man plays - why not make it up with the rest of the drama group?'

Okay, let me guess...we're eating baked ham and meat loaf on a bed of fish sticks because you combined all the leftovers...

Castaway with a tennis court.

"It's just until the air conditioning in our house is fixed."

Washing Line - "I thought you wanted a clothes dryer."

'We added on to the couch.'

"I hope you like smoked salmon."

"The line in the script was actually 'Woof woof,' but, when we started shooting, 'Bow wow' came out, and the rest is history."

"And I'm telling YOU it looks exactly like the picture. See?"

"She'll only eat it if I cut it up in cloverleaf shapes, serve it on a blue plate, and do a little dance as I serve it."

'So, what part of the house are we delivering shock and awe to this weekend?'

'Sometimes if things blow onto the canvas I just leave em there.'

Inflate a job!

Jacques Loussier.

Piano desk.

"I said no to a man cave but I compromised on a dugout."

'So one day I said to myself, 'What am I doing living in this run down house when I could be living on my boat?'

"We could hire another accountant and secretary, but wouldn't it be fun to have a barista?"

Zoom Backdrop

"I don't believe you're a minimalist I think you're just mean."

'I couldn't find real fruit for your still life painting, so we'll just use these fruit roll-ups.'