Musical Improviser Gifts

'I know we've got to save money, dear, but can't you use the phone like other people?'

The Augie Twins write music strictly for their own amusement.

"I know the organ is broken, but I was kind of hoping you knew how to play the guitar."

Bad Timbre: the world's first Garage Philharmonic Orchestra

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

Jazz is Invented

'I'm re-enacting a battle with my conscience.'

The Hammer

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

'What a day! - the computer broke down, and I had to cook manually!'

'I made a Valentine's Day card for you. The school has no art supplies so I wrote the color in.'

"We'll have to eat out tonight - I misplaced the can opener."

"When you tell your Father how you're dropping out of college to be a renaissance faire entertainer, the least you could do is break character."

'We have an emergency, ladies and gentlemen! We need help - can anybody in the audience play the tambourine.'

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

'We've run out of one-man plays - why not make it up with the rest of the drama group?'

'I'm a loaf of bread.'

Okay, let me guess...we're eating baked ham and meat loaf on a bed of fish sticks because you combined all the leftovers...

"It's just until the air conditioning in our house is fixed."

Washing Line - "I thought you wanted a clothes dryer."

"I hope you like smoked salmon."

"The line in the script was actually 'Woof woof,' but, when we started shooting, 'Bow wow' came out, and the rest is history."

Harpist using her bed frame as a harp.

"That's not a mistake, that's jazz."

I work all day landscaping. I'm too tired to do all the yard work at home. Teddy, you're big enough to use my power tools. I know exactly who to call for help. Tap tap tap. Not the power tool I was referring to.

'We added on to the couch.'

There were drastic cutbacks in the orchestra's budget.

"She'll only eat it if I cut it up in cloverleaf shapes, serve it on a blue plate, and do a little dance as I serve it."

'Sometimes if things blow onto the canvas I just leave em there.'

"You're a fool, Carl - a fool and an idiot."

'So one day I said to myself, 'What am I doing living in this run down house when I could be living on my boat?'

'This way, we'll never lose track of the remote.'

"I said no to a man cave but I compromised on a dugout."

'Is there an elvis in the building?!'