Musical Improviser Gifts

'I know we've got to save money, dear, but can't you use the phone like other people?'

The Augie Twins write music strictly for their own amusement.

"I know the organ is broken, but I was kind of hoping you knew how to play the guitar."

Bad Timbre: the world's first Garage Philharmonic Orchestra

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

Jazz is Invented

'I'm re-enacting a battle with my conscience.'

The Hammer

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

'I made a Valentine's Day card for you. The school has no art supplies so I wrote the color in.'

'What a day! - the computer broke down, and I had to cook manually!'

"We'll have to eat out tonight - I misplaced the can opener."

'We have an emergency, ladies and gentlemen! We need help - can anybody in the audience play the tambourine.'

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

"When you tell your Father how you're dropping out of college to be a renaissance faire entertainer, the least you could do is break character."

'We've run out of one-man plays - why not make it up with the rest of the drama group?'

Okay, let me guess...we're eating baked ham and meat loaf on a bed of fish sticks because you combined all the leftovers...

'I'm a loaf of bread.'

"It's just until the air conditioning in our house is fixed."

"The line in the script was actually 'Woof woof,' but, when we started shooting, 'Bow wow' came out, and the rest is history."

"I hope you like smoked salmon."

Harpist using her bed frame as a harp.

Washing Line - "I thought you wanted a clothes dryer."

'We added on to the couch.'

"That's not a mistake, that's jazz."

There were drastic cutbacks in the orchestra's budget.

"She'll only eat it if I cut it up in cloverleaf shapes, serve it on a blue plate, and do a little dance as I serve it."

'Sometimes if things blow onto the canvas I just leave em there.'

'It spoils the decor, but it sure saves money on TV sets.'

Piano desk.

"You're a fool, Carl - a fool and an idiot."

Jacques Loussier.

"I said no to a man cave but I compromised on a dugout."

Inflate a job!