Soundtrack Improviser Gifts

'Mind if we hum along?'

Bad Timbre: the world's first Garage Philharmonic Orchestra

Jazz is Invented

'I made a Valentine's Day card for you. The school has no art supplies so I wrote the color in.'

"Trust me, Brad, those comedy sound effects aren't a reflection of how this is going."

The Augie Twins write music strictly for their own amusement.

'We have an emergency, ladies and gentlemen! We need help - can anybody in the audience play the tambourine.'

Resume of Claude Brisketson Composer

Gioacchino Antonio Rossini

"You're dragging the beat."

"The line in the script was actually 'Woof woof,' but, when we started shooting, 'Bow wow' came out, and the rest is history."

Georg Frideric Handel

Tune Up Shop.

There were drastic cutbacks in the orchestra's budget.

'OK, Mrs. Grazner! Knock it off with the 'Jaws' sound track!'

'Sometimes if things blow onto the canvas I just leave em there.'

Jacques Loussier.

Piano desk.

'I do, but no promises.'

For the man who has everything: personal theme music.

Inflate a job!

'The problem isn't your high definition television, it's your low definition eyes.'

"We could hire another accountant and secretary, but wouldn't it be fun to have a barista?"

"I can't get the Grease soundtrack out of my head."

Famed elevator music composer Edward C. Quimble, hard at work.

'I couldn't find real fruit for your still life painting, so we'll just use these fruit roll-ups.'

"School would be more exciting with a sound track."

'I know we've got to save money, dear, but can't you use the phone like other people?'

'Go and tell the man with the Eric Dolphy CD down his trousers that's not what we mean by free jazz.'

"Do you want the volume set to barely audible dialogue or overwhelming loud music?"

Playlists

Mom sings song to child but gets the lyrics wrong.

"I know the organ is broken, but I was kind of hoping you knew how to play the guitar."

"Well, I'm sorry, but I just can't help mindlessly humming the corn ball tunes I pick up from the elevator."

'I thought it might help our budget if I rented them our backyard.'