Sheet Music Improviser Gifts

There were drastic cutbacks in the orchestra's budget.

Bad Timbre: the world's first Garage Philharmonic Orchestra

Jazz is Invented

'I made a Valentine's Day card for you. The school has no art supplies so I wrote the color in.'

A saxophone player reads music that says, 'Dade, dade, dade, dade, dade, deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee' with the eeeeeeees falling off the music stand onto the floor.

The Augie Twins write music strictly for their own amusement.

"The line in the script was actually 'Woof woof,' but, when we started shooting, 'Bow wow' came out, and the rest is history."

...After the argument escalated, neighbors say the husband, a composer, threatened to smother his wife with his sheet music. Before anyone could help, witnesses say he'd already begun killing her softly with his song.

'Guys, could we try a different inversion?...Guys?'

'Sometimes if things blow onto the canvas I just leave em there.'

Sonata #39 for Cello & Tuba.

Jacques Loussier.

'I do, but no promises.'

'That should discourage my imitators.'

Musical washing

Piano desk.

Inflate a job!

'The problem isn't your high definition television, it's your low definition eyes.'

"We could hire another accountant and secretary, but wouldn't it be fun to have a barista?"

Zoom Backdrop

'I couldn't find real fruit for your still life painting, so we'll just use these fruit roll-ups.'

'It's not that I don't like you, you're just too upbeat for me.'

'Go and tell the man with the Eric Dolphy CD down his trousers that's not what we mean by free jazz.'

Literal Music.

'I know we've got to save money, dear, but can't you use the phone like other people?'

"I know the organ is broken, but I was kind of hoping you knew how to play the guitar."

Mom sings song to child but gets the lyrics wrong.

'Don't mind me. They're having problems finding me desk space on level 4.'

Beethoven's last.

'Mind if we hum along?'

Conductor with video-head

Music Book

Bird Score