Lyric Improviser Gifts

Mom sings song to child but gets the lyrics wrong.

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

Bad Timbre: the world's first Garage Philharmonic Orchestra

Jazz is Invented

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

The Hammer

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

"Those are the lyrics? How embarrassing—I've been singing it wrong this whole time."

"I'm stuck for the 'June-moon' rhyme in Serbo-Croatian."

'Cole Porter has the lyrics checked'

I'm a songbird. He's my lyricist.

Tragedy! When the feeling's gone and you can't go on.

'I made a Valentine's Day card for you. The school has no art supplies so I wrote the color in.'

"I feel that what would really give your next album a major boost would be some kind of well-publicized personal problem."

This is called "The Ballad of a Self-Taught Guitarist."

"Well, we've for the melody down now, but I'm still not sure about the part where it goes, '...and they call the wind Dorcas Schnickelbaum.'"

"Great moments in songwriting" "What if she had a little lamb?" "Maybe it follows her to school?" "Wouldn't that make the children laugh?" "Exactly."

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

Vasiliy Lebedev-Kumach

The Augie Twins write music strictly for their own amusement.

'This one writes some fine lyrics, and the other one has composed some beautiful music, but they just done't seem to hit it off as collaborators.'

George Gershwin, Psychiatrist

"I don't do spells. I'm a wizard at deciphering rap lyrics."

"Yeah, most people are surprised when they learn I'm actually a lyricist."

Noel Coward

Bird Cage Cover over Wife's Head

"Moon….June Croon….Loon… …Tycoon"

'We've run out of one-man plays - why not make it up with the rest of the drama group?'

"It's just until the air conditioning in our house is fixed."

Dolores O'Riordan

Washing Line - "I thought you wanted a clothes dryer."

"The line in the script was actually 'Woof woof,' but, when we started shooting, 'Bow wow' came out, and the rest is history."

"Since when did my opinions become 'riffs'?"

I work all day landscaping. I'm too tired to do all the yard work at home. Teddy, you're big enough to use my power tools. I know exactly who to call for help. Tap tap tap. Not the power tool I was referring to.

'We added on to the couch.'