Romantic Improviser Gifts

'Sorry, I didn't see that speedbump.'

Bad Timbre: the world's first Garage Philharmonic Orchestra

Jazz is Invented

Sexual chemistry set

The Hammer

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

'Silly me, I brought the wrong book -- You two just swore an oath of celibacy.'

'I made a Valentine's Day card for you. The school has no art supplies so I wrote the color in.'

"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

"Now give me something intimate to say."

The Augie Twins write music strictly for their own amusement.

Boss has 'will you marry me, Ingrid?' sign and says, 'Fax this until you get a yes.'

Bird Cage Cover over Wife's Head

"It's just until the air conditioning in our house is fixed."

"The line in the script was actually 'Woof woof,' but, when we started shooting, 'Bow wow' came out, and the rest is history."

Cell Partners

Ed's super-romantic but he's always a police detective. He calls our love 'consensual identity theft.'

I work all day landscaping. I'm too tired to do all the yard work at home. Teddy, you're big enough to use my power tools. I know exactly who to call for help. Tap tap tap. Not the power tool I was referring to.

Washing Line - "I thought you wanted a clothes dryer."

'We added on to the couch.'

'Sometimes if things blow onto the canvas I just leave em there.'

'So one day I said to myself, 'What am I doing living in this run down house when I could be living on my boat?'

'I do, but no promises.'

Jacques Loussier.

"You're a fool, Carl - a fool and an idiot."

"I said no to a man cave but I compromised on a dugout."

"Springtime in Paris on Google Earth. I told you I was a romantic."

"Higher...to the right. Ahhh...that's nice!"

'The problem isn't your high definition television, it's your low definition eyes.'

"I don't believe you're a minimalist I think you're just mean."

"I'll draw them out with the cheese platter, but it's up to you to entertain them."

"Darling, are you ready - I thought we'd try it on a bed of wilted spinach."

'I couldn't find real fruit for your still life painting, so we'll just use these fruit roll-ups.'

"I overestimated the amount of fun you can have on a balcony."