Lyric Improviser T-Shirts

Mom sings song to child but gets the lyrics wrong.

Bad Timbre: the world's first Garage Philharmonic Orchestra

Jazz is Invented

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

The Hammer

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

"Those are the lyrics? How embarrassing—I've been singing it wrong this whole time."

Tragedy! When the feeling's gone and you can't go on.

'Cole Porter has the lyrics checked'

'I made a Valentine's Day card for you. The school has no art supplies so I wrote the color in.'

"I'm stuck for the 'June-moon' rhyme in Serbo-Croatian."

"I feel that what would really give your next album a major boost would be some kind of well-publicized personal problem."

Vasiliy Lebedev-Kumach

"Well, we've for the melody down now, but I'm still not sure about the part where it goes, '...and they call the wind Dorcas Schnickelbaum.'"

The Augie Twins write music strictly for their own amusement.

"Great moments in songwriting" "What if she had a little lamb?" "Maybe it follows her to school?" "Wouldn't that make the children laugh?" "Exactly."

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

'This one writes some fine lyrics, and the other one has composed some beautiful music, but they just done't seem to hit it off as collaborators.'

George Gershwin, Psychiatrist

"I don't do spells. I'm a wizard at deciphering rap lyrics."

'We've run out of one-man plays - why not make it up with the rest of the drama group?'

"Moon….June Croon….Loon… …Tycoon"

"Yeah, most people are surprised when they learn I'm actually a lyricist."

Bird Cage Cover over Wife's Head

"It's just until the air conditioning in our house is fixed."

'We added on to the couch.'

Washing Line - "I thought you wanted a clothes dryer."

"The line in the script was actually 'Woof woof,' but, when we started shooting, 'Bow wow' came out, and the rest is history."

Dolores O'Riordan

"Since when did my opinions become 'riffs'?"

There were drastic cutbacks in the orchestra's budget.