Instrument Improviser T-Shirts

Bad Timbre: the world's first Garage Philharmonic Orchestra

Jazz is Invented

The Hammer

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

'I made a Valentine's Day card for you. The school has no art supplies so I wrote the color in.'

'We have an emergency, ladies and gentlemen! We need help - can anybody in the audience play the tambourine.'

Hacksaw Violin.

"If you liked tonight's meal, you might enjoy 'Making The Meal,' a documentary with outtakes and commentary when the cook ran out of eggs because someone put an empty carton back in the refrigerator..."

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

The Augie Twins write music strictly for their own amusement.

'I'm a loaf of bread.'

'We've run out of one-man plays - why not make it up with the rest of the drama group?'

'Well excuse me Mr. watch me pound on a hollow log!! I just thought our sound could use a change!!'

"It's just until the air conditioning in our house is fixed."

'We added on to the couch.'

"The line in the script was actually 'Woof woof,' but, when we started shooting, 'Bow wow' came out, and the rest is history."

Harpist using her bed frame as a harp.

"And I'm telling YOU it looks exactly like the picture. See?"

I work all day landscaping. I'm too tired to do all the yard work at home. Teddy, you're big enough to use my power tools. I know exactly who to call for help. Tap tap tap. Not the power tool I was referring to.

Washing Line - "I thought you wanted a clothes dryer."

There were drastic cutbacks in the orchestra's budget.

'So, what part of the house are we delivering shock and awe to this weekend?'

'Sometimes if things blow onto the canvas I just leave em there.'

'This way, we'll never lose track of the remote.'

'It spoils the decor, but it sure saves money on TV sets.'

Inflate a job!

Jacques Loussier.

Piano desk.

"I said no to a man cave but I compromised on a dugout."

'So one day I said to myself, 'What am I doing living in this run down house when I could be living on my boat?'

"We could hire another accountant and secretary, but wouldn't it be fun to have a barista?"

'The problem isn't your high definition television, it's your low definition eyes.'

'I couldn't find real fruit for your still life painting, so we'll just use these fruit roll-ups.'

Cello Saw

"I don't believe you're a minimalist I think you're just mean."